Can Long Distance Relationships Survive?


There is a very famous quote about long distance relationships. “Distance means so little when someone means so much”. I love this quote because this is true.

My girlfriend and I have our own dreams. We plan to achieve them when we are still on or 20s or 30s. We won’t stop until we reach those goals. We have dream destinations. She wants to go to USA to visit her grandfather whom she has not seen for years. After that, she wants to travel Europe, especially Italy, the most romantic country in the world as they say. For me, I plan to tour around the country of Australia. We both want to experience all the things that our dream countries could offer. And if those dreams happen, we know that we have to face the LDL, or the long distance love.

This could happen because I believe she wants to study medicine abroad and I am not planning to intervene her study. Just the thought of us being separated by miles, lands, and the oceans pains me. Questions like, will we make it? Won’t one of us cheat? Is she going to return still single? comes to my mind every time I think of it.

That is just something that I anticipate.

So I really admire those relationships that succeed in a long distance relationship. You have to give them credit. What was their secret? How did they do it?

I think it is really simple. You just have to think again the quote I have shared at the start of this post.

If someone is truly special to you, no matter the circumstances, you will return to him or her. You would be focusing on the things you have to accomplish why you were away from her so that you could honestly return without the disgust in yourself, so you could still love your partner wholeheartedly.

Here are some of the tips that I could share for those people who are in a long distance relationship. I believe they would work for them.

1. Tell your partner that you love them. In whatever form, tell them this. In this world of Internet, I think there is no more excuses on why you cannot tell them this. Except if you really don’t feel like saying it anymore. There is always now the chat, the E-mails, the social media, or the overseas roaming services provided by telecommunications companies.

2. Stay away from the opposite sex. I think this is one of the biggest reason why long distance relationships fail. They tend to find that longing in an opposite sex “friend” to fill up the empty space left by their partners. They talk and hang out a lot until they eventually fall for each other. This complicates everything so it’s best if you stay away from a particular friend. I’m not saying it’s bad to meet new people from the opposite sex but if you want to lessen the burden of the distance, you should stay away. Be friends more with same sex. Go out with them more but don’t do things which will anger your partner if he or she ever finds out. (And if you fall for that same sex, that is completely another story!)

3. Keep them in mind. No flirting. That comment someone made on your social media profile could irritate him or her if they think that was inappropriate. So it is best to just delete them or tell those people that your partner would not like it. The case here is to prevent things from happening so that they won’t worry so much that someone is trying to get your attention. Always keep your partners in mind in whatever actions. Would she love it? Would he hate it? That is for you to answer if you really know your partner.

4. Make the most out of it. If your partner comes home in a while but will have to leave again, enjoy and make the most out of the stay of your partner. Do everything you need to do. Enjoy the cuddles and the kisses because you will certainly miss those. Try something new so that both of you will have something to share while they are away. You would also keep up the hope of trying something new to make them eager to come back. 

5. Make yourself busy. You’re grown up. You know the things that would anger your partner. So no, it doesn’t mean make yourself busy with someone. If you want to try out something new, go ahead. No one would stop you.If you really love it, your partner would support you in it even if they are miles away. You would feel their support. By doing this, you avoid temptations. You would feel like you are doing something too and you are not just dependent on the outcome of your long distance relationship.

6. Challenge your partner. In relation to #5, you can challenge yourselves into achieving something new. Even in distance, you would feel that both of you are achieving a common goal. You could ask him to try hitting the gym and make his muscular form come out and he could ask you to finally learn cooking. I’m not limiting it to those thing. So that when you finally meet, you could show something to your partner. You could be proud that you’ve done what your partner have challenged you to do.

7. Talk about your future personally or virtually. Couples love doing this. This actually strengthens their relationship and a long distance love needs everything to strengthen theirs. Go on and talk about it. Design your house. Count your kids. How will things look like for you? This is a healthy form of communication for both of you.

8. Always be trusting and don’t be too jealous. Just do them if you really want your relationship to work. However, this should be mutual.

9. Give them something to hold on to. A personal object or a thing that is really important to you could make your relationship work. If they are too much valuable to you, your partner would understand that and they would care for it so much just like your relationship. In times of loneliness, they would just hold on to it and all of their sadness would be washed away. This object will surely provide your partner happiness and comfort. It would make them feel that somehow, you are with them.

10. Be positive and look forward. Each day that passes by should be an inspiration to you that you are one day closer to meeting your partner again. Try to be optimistic to the fact that your love could conquer everything including distance. Think of it as something that strengthens the relationship and not as a hindrance. You would be surprise that both of you would come out as a more mature and stronger individuals. You would be able to appreciate and value more your partner because you have missed them so much and you would rejoice to the fact that they still want you even in the long distance.

So if you would ask twentyfirstcouple if a long distance relationship could work? we wouldbe positive to that. True love could do everything. =)


why do relationships fail?

what the hell is wrong? why do some relationships end up failing?

as a person who is currently in a relationship, I always wonder why people break up? Did they choose it? Or was it because those two people were not really meant for each other? I am always afraid to answer this question because I might not be able to answer exactly why when I would be questioned such as this “why did you two break up? “what happened?”

One of the trending topics on Twitter was the #whyrelationshipsfail. I clicked on it and found a mix of serious and funny reasons. In this post, I would try to analyze some of the answers of the Twitter users, and let’s just pass on the hilarious ones.

Twitter user #1: one person stops putting in the effort and then bam

Who is the one to be blamed here? I say we cannot immediately pinpoint it to men since they always say that men starts to show so much effort in the start but later on, when they get what they want or as time passes by, they stop. But what if the reason was because the woman started to show little affection? What if she was out there neglecting his small efforts because the man started to think bigger and he’s not just the romeo-like or the one who always try to woo his girl but he is busy doing efforts for the both of them? What if he wanted all the nice things for her so that someday she would live a happy and comfortable life even if he was gone?

If people really loved their partner, they would take a look deeper on why their partner do some things. They should continue on showing efforts even if they are of the smallest thing because they say that it’s the thought that counts. Grown up couples know that relationships are not purely based on the chocolates, flowers, teddy bears, or grand showcase of love, but in mutual understanding, respect, and love.

Twitter user #2: because nowadays, everyone lies, cheats, and play games. No one wants to commit and be true. 

This is true… but not totally. There are still some people out there who remain loyal and faithful. They are too busy trying to maintain the relationship because its what they want when they grow old and they are contented already with the person. They are afraid to leave their partners because they believe they might not get the same quality of relationship again. They are too busy trying to reach their goals for themselves, for their family and for their future family. Cheating just don’t have a place in their mind. They firmly think that this will just lead to stressful and painful times.

But I would not argue that this not exist. Because it does! That’s why in the Philippines, there are lot of television shows and movies that involve third parties. They really click and grab the attention of the nation. Maybe because its prevalent? I don’t know. There are really stupid people out there who take on for granted their partners and love not more than they have loved before but more than one person. It’s simple. If you don’t love him or her anymore, just tell it to them. You won’t be a better person if you have many paramours.

Twitter user #3: People allow their insecurities and jealousy to get in their way.

This applies to all. We are all insecure and it is in our nature to get jealous. We are insecure because of what we see in our society. Society has ruined the true meaning of beauty equating it to good looks or the money we have in the bank. We are naturally jealous because we do not want to share to others what we have. We are protective by nature. We feel threatened when someone tries to get the people we have.

Personally, I was a really insecure boyfriend. For me, she was a goddess. My girl would really qualify to be in line with beautiful Greek goddesses. And there was I, a very plain type of guy. I was a nobody. I did not know how to love myself. I neglected myself thinking that no one would date me. I overcame this when she made me realize that I should feel more confident and love myself more. She said that what others think do not matter. She loves me for the real me and not what the society dictates on what type of guy she should go out with.

It really takes for the partner to bring out the best in you and boost your confidence. You should totally work them out. Your insecurities with other people could really bring down the relationship if left unattended.

As for jealousy, both men and women should really learn how to trust. They have to build that but trust was never as simple as “I trust you.” Even if he or she says that, trust me, there is really a little lie on that. That is why both of the partners should learn on how to make them feel secured. They should definitely clear it out that the people we interact with are just plain people in our lives. They are not as special as the ones we love.

marry a girl who reads

Some say that when a man finds a girl who reads, he should definitely date that girl. I say he should marry her, ultimately.

That is if that man is looking for a serious relationship and he is not out there toying girls’ hearts. If he wants a long term commitment, he could find that in a girl who reads. For a girl who reads are the ones who know and understand people. They know, just like in books, that characters develop. That there is nothing impossible in this world if a man wants something. For a girl who reads maybe engrossed in the world created by mere words of the author but she knows that her world revolves around the people whom she loves. For a girl who reads is simple, she is not a complicated type of girl.

A man will not worry what to give her on their anniversary. He could pick up the book that she has been eyeing on for a week. Simple gestures of love will mean the most to her. He could just make her a nice and warm cup of coffee so she can go on finishing the chapter. Believe me, at the end of that chapter and she cries, she will immediately go to you while you are there sitting and watching your favorite basketball or baseball team. The man could just give her a hug and console her sobbing heart. Isn’t that plain and simple?

A girl who reads is definitely knowledgeable for she has been through the other parts of the world. Ask her and she would give you sensible answers. She would be there for you whenever you need help or perhaps, you don’t need to knock at her heart anymore for she will already know if there is something bothering you. Just like how you make her feel loved, she would  definitely love you back. For she understands deeply how it feels like to be unrequited.

Love a girl who reads and maybe if you are lucky, a girl who writes.